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In The Backyard

by Brooms

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1.
Goodbye thanks for coming Goodbye see you soon Well I’ll walk you to the door But your car’s too far for me Remember when I said oriental At your dinner party? Your face turned so red Your friends never laugh at me
2.
Condos 02:44
Are you new to the neighborhood? You’re new (yes you) to the neighborhood Your place looks just like mine That’s fine No running by the poolside Or leaving your doggie on the lawn It’s wrong We run a tight ship here No dog shit here on the lawn I said it’s wrong! These condos are cubes in my tray Make my orange juice cold And fever rush away Are you new to the neighborhood? You’re new (yes you) to the neighborhood Your place looks just like mine Hey pretty lady Is that a party I see? Is everyone there except poor old me When I fetch the mail I can see your living room Modern mermaids on the couch Modern mermaids on the couch Can I sleep over tonight My bed light is bright But your bed is really nice With all those pillows Just let me take your trash out In the rain Let me fall in love with you
3.
Hey kitty get off my floor You aint dead no more Now listen kitty Some folks need your company Go shit in a box Then pretend you talk And get that lesbo off shitty kitty You’ve got some work to do (whoa) Hey kitty get off my floor You aint dead no more Now listen kitty Some folks need your company Go shit in a box Then pretend you talk Stop looking at my dangling sock kitty You’ve got some work to do Cause no one likes you (shitty kitty) Hey kitty get off my floor You aint dead no more You aint dead no more You were just resting right next To the ironing board
4.
The manmade mountain On top of the hardware store Is singing a song for you Do you know how much we need you Do you really even care... No This lump is the size of a tree trunk It grows each day and never looks down Just give us all of your microwaves A container of chalk just washes away Hungry little mountain Doesn’t need your company He’s got no room for friends around The mother-made man Outside of the hardware store Is singing a song for you "I just walked right out the front door Didn’t even punch a card" He goes home, thinks about a new life Gets a new dew with a brand new view "Goddamn I feel the same But with a little less hair there" If the mountain moves then so will you Cause we all need a place to be In a paradise or a pile of mice Well shit that’s the place for me
5.
With your crocodile breath You always tell me how to dress "Hey Matt, there’s a booger poking out your nostril" You should have a birthday soon So you can feel your presence boom Counting all the best friends You’ll run out of fingers I don’t even really love you And I don’t even really want to I’ve tried many times Goddamn you’ve got the meanest walk And sometimes you think the darkest thoughts Plucking all my brow hair I’ll groom just for you Sometimes when I talk to you I hear “heybodaboheybodabo”
6.
Elbows 02:48
Words: Ivor Cutler I wore my elbows down To the bone for you I wore my elbows down To the bone for you How will you wear your bones Down for me I wore my elbows down To the bone for you I wore my elbows down To the bone for you How will you wear your bones Down for me I make you money But elbowing people around
7.
Balding 02:26
Scratch your head inside your room You can poke you can prod But it’s never coming back to you You’re getting stuck in the fat Of a Sumo’s back in June You’re throwing tears at the whale No water, waves will come soon It’s snowing from your scalp Sweep it with a broom We give each other careers Well now my future is clear My work is just a show My work just hit the floor Could you roll with it Roll with it will you please Go tell your friends you’ll miss That blowing breeze If your hair keeps falling Grab it glue it to a tree Come back in a couple years and say, “Hey what a pretty tree” You’ll always be just a little kid So just roll with it You’ll always be just a little kid So just roll around Roll around Just roll We give each other careers Well now my future is clear My work is just a show My work just hit the floor I am balding I am balding I am going bald
8.
Reading 02:15
Those whities sitting in a coffee shop And darkies dancing in a barbershop The library’s got no room for jocks Well I know I picked up a book once Well I know (ooh) Well I know (ooh) Just wait for a crummy shower to heat Or sit in the kitchen with nothing to eat The watch you bought right down the block Just broke in two That’s right Georgie lied to you Well I know (ooh) Well I know it’s true Cause I’ve seen it on the news And oh man those people are doomed Let’s change the channel! Whities are taking up the whole damn block Darkies can’t dance without a barbershop Let’s change the channel!
9.
In the backyard Where you were raised For forty years you were wrong, Mrs. Right Could you pick up the slack Could you pick up the slack Would you please wipe the mud Off my back? When the backyard breaks The pantry really shakes And I always think it’s an earthquake The above ground pool is big enough for two But never big enough for you If you really want a bath There’s a lake in the back Good God just wash your crack (get off my back) And get out of my head How did you get in here? The patio light was on And the keys were under a planter Well there’s no room for you I’ve got things to do Like worry about the future Your future is mine to eat and keep Your future is not a future In the backyard Where we spent our days Where the newspapers die And the birdies try to fly I hope I can forget this place
10.
Stare at your neighbor Your neighbor stares back You don’t really like her But you share the same remote Lasagna for dinner Lasagna for breakfast Lasagna for lunch Would it hurt to change it up? Hope you know That’s where we go Don’t know what to do You wont even tie a shoe And when family rolls around, you say Bum Bum Bum Hope you know That’s when we go Home
11.
You’re just killing time with me Until you meet the man of your dreams He’ll make you laugh and cry At the same damn time I tried to cook for you I cleaned your shower (holy shit) I even hung with your big bro He’s just a boneless little kid Barracuda in my belly She put a barracuda in there You mean the world to me But that’s only for a day My favorite television show Is only an hour away It makes me laugh and cry And cheer at the same time Do you know how much I love you? I’ll tell you at the commercials Barracuda in my belly She put a barracuda in there So long love So long I know you won’t age well I know you won't age well I know you won’t age

credits

released December 10, 2012

Brooms is Brett Crudgington and Matt Cascella

Mixed and mastered by Dave Downham

Co-engineered by James Downes

Kevin Moehringer - trombones
Steven Lugerner - bass clarinet
James Downes - vocals, guitar

"Elbows" inspired by Ivor Cutler

Big thanks to Patrick McNicholas, Corey's family, and tolerant roommates

Photograph by Kate Stone
Design by Aaron Binaco

Special thanks to James Downes, our folks, and John Kamitsuka

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Brooms Brooklyn, New York

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