In The Backyard

by Brooms

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credits

released December 10, 2012

Brooms is Brett Crudgington and Matt Cascella

Mixed and mastered by Dave Downham

Co-engineered by James Downes

Kevin Moehringer - trombones
Steven Lugerner - bass clarinet
James Downes - vocals, guitar

"Elbows" inspired by Ivor Cutler

Big thanks to Patrick McNicholas, Corey's family, and tolerant roommates

Photograph by Kate Stone
Design by Aaron Binaco

Special thanks to James Downes, our folks, and John Kamitsuka

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Brooms Brooklyn, New York

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Track Name: Thanks for Coming
Goodbye thanks for coming
Goodbye see you soon
Well I’ll walk you to the door
But your car’s too far for me
Remember when I said oriental
At your dinner party?
Your face turned so red
Your friends never laugh at me
Track Name: Condos
Are you new to the neighborhood?
You’re new (yes you) to the neighborhood
Your place looks just like mine
That’s fine

No running by the poolside
Or leaving your doggie on the lawn
It’s wrong
We run a tight ship here
No dog shit here on the lawn
I said it’s wrong!
These condos are cubes in my tray
Make my orange juice cold
And fever rush away

Are you new to the neighborhood?
You’re new (yes you) to the neighborhood
Your place looks just like mine

Hey pretty lady
Is that a party I see?
Is everyone there except poor old me
When I fetch the mail
I can see your living room
Modern mermaids on the couch
Modern mermaids on the couch

Can I sleep over tonight
My bed light is bright
But your bed is really nice
With all those pillows
Just let me take your trash out
In the rain
Let me fall in love with you
Track Name: Kitty on the Kitchen Floor Next to the Ironing Board
Hey kitty get off my floor
You aint dead no more
Now listen kitty
Some folks need your company
Go shit in a box
Then pretend you talk
And get that lesbo off shitty kitty
You’ve got some work to do (whoa)

Hey kitty get off my floor
You aint dead no more
Now listen kitty
Some folks need your company
Go shit in a box
Then pretend you talk
Stop looking at my dangling sock kitty
You’ve got some work to do
Cause no one likes you (shitty kitty)

Hey kitty get off my floor
You aint dead no more
You aint dead no more
You were just resting right next
To the ironing board
Track Name: Hungry Mountain
The manmade mountain
On top of the hardware store
Is singing a song for you
Do you know how much we need you
Do you really even care...
No

This lump is the size of a tree trunk
It grows each day and never looks down
Just give us all of your microwaves
A container of chalk just washes away

Hungry little mountain
Doesn’t need your company
He’s got no room for friends around

The mother-made man
Outside of the hardware store
Is singing a song for you
"I just walked right out the front door
Didn’t even punch a card"

He goes home, thinks about a new life
Gets a new dew with a brand new view
"Goddamn I feel the same
But with a little less hair there"

If the mountain moves then so will you
Cause we all need a place to be
In a paradise or a pile of mice
Well shit that’s the place for me
Track Name: Crocodile Breath
With your crocodile breath
You always tell me how to dress
"Hey Matt, there’s a booger poking out your nostril"
You should have a birthday soon
So you can feel your presence boom
Counting all the best friends
You’ll run out of fingers

I don’t even really love you
And I don’t even really want to
I’ve tried many times

Goddamn you’ve got the meanest walk
And sometimes you think the darkest thoughts
Plucking all my brow hair
I’ll groom just for you
Sometimes when I talk to you
I hear “heybodaboheybodabo”
Track Name: Elbows
Words: Ivor Cutler

I wore my elbows down
To the bone for you
I wore my elbows down
To the bone for you

How will you wear your bones
Down for me

I wore my elbows down
To the bone for you
I wore my elbows down
To the bone for you

How will you wear your bones
Down for me

I make you money
But elbowing people around
Track Name: Balding
Scratch your head inside your room
You can poke you can prod
But it’s never coming back to you
You’re getting stuck in the fat
Of a Sumo’s back in June
You’re throwing tears at the whale
No water, waves will come soon
It’s snowing from your scalp
Sweep it with a broom

We give each other careers
Well now my future is clear
My work is just a show
My work just hit the floor

Could you roll with it
Roll with it will you please
Go tell your friends you’ll miss
That blowing breeze
If your hair keeps falling
Grab it glue it to a tree
Come back in a couple years and say,
“Hey what a pretty tree”

You’ll always be just a little kid
So just roll with it
You’ll always be just a little kid
So just roll around
Roll around
Just roll

We give each other careers
Well now my future is clear
My work is just a show
My work just hit the floor
I am balding
I am balding
I am going bald
Track Name: Reading
Those whities sitting in a coffee shop
And darkies dancing in a barbershop
The library’s got no room for jocks
Well I know
I picked up a book once

Well I know (ooh)
Well I know (ooh)

Just wait for a crummy shower to heat
Or sit in the kitchen with nothing to eat
The watch you bought right down the block
Just broke in two
That’s right Georgie lied to you

Well I know (ooh)
Well I know it’s true
Cause I’ve seen it on the news
And oh man those people are doomed
Let’s change the channel!

Whities are taking up the whole damn block
Darkies can’t dance without a barbershop
Let’s change the channel!
Track Name: In the Backyard
In the backyard
Where you were raised
For forty years you were wrong, Mrs. Right
Could you pick up the slack
Could you pick up the slack
Would you please wipe the mud
Off my back?
When the backyard breaks
The pantry really shakes
And I always think it’s an earthquake

The above ground pool is big enough for two
But never big enough for you
If you really want a bath
There’s a lake in the back
Good God just wash your crack (get off my back)

And get out of my head
How did you get in here?
The patio light was on
And the keys were under a planter
Well there’s no room for you
I’ve got things to do
Like worry about the future
Your future is mine to eat and keep
Your future is not a future

In the backyard
Where we spent our days
Where the newspapers die
And the birdies try to fly
I hope I can forget this place
Track Name: Old Lady Shoe
Stare at your neighbor
Your neighbor stares back
You don’t really like her
But you share the same remote

Lasagna for dinner
Lasagna for breakfast
Lasagna for lunch
Would it hurt to change it up?

Hope you know
That’s where we go

Don’t know what to do
You wont even tie a shoe
And when family rolls around, you say
Bum Bum Bum

Hope you know
That’s when we go
Home
Track Name: Barracuda Belly
You’re just killing time with me
Until you meet the man of your dreams
He’ll make you laugh and cry
At the same damn time
I tried to cook for you
I cleaned your shower (holy shit)
I even hung with your big bro
He’s just a boneless little kid

Barracuda in my belly
She put a barracuda in there

You mean the world to me
But that’s only for a day
My favorite television show
Is only an hour away
It makes me laugh and cry
And cheer at the same time
Do you know how much I love you?
I’ll tell you at the commercials

Barracuda in my belly
She put a barracuda in there

So long love
So long
I know you won’t age well
I know you won't age well
I know you won’t age